Cultivating Boundaries: Navigating the Complex Path to Personal and Professional Empowerment
Reflecting on the past week, during which I took an unusual break from my busy work routine, I found myself delving into the realm of boundaries. As I took a brief hiatus from both my job and my daily life due to a short medical leave, I had the chance to engage in some deep introspection and much-needed rest. During this time, I couldn't help but ponder over the complexities of saying YES or NO, a seemingly simple task that often proves to be far more intricate.
Setting boundaries has always been a challenge for me. The dichotomy between saying YES when I meant NO or vice versa has been a recurring theme in my life. Fear, imposter syndrome, and the desire to please others have often clouded my ability to assert my boundaries effectively. It's a struggle many in my profession face, leaving us grappling with the balance between personal integrity and the demands of our work and relationships.
I've come to view boundaries as essential containers safeguarding my time, emotional energy, mental well-being, relationships, physical health, and resources. They serve as instinctual protectors, preserving what I value most and allowing room for the experiences that bring me joy. Embracing this perspective, I now envision boundaries as force fields guarding my individuality, ideas, and capacity to love and be loved.
In my journey towards understanding boundaries, I've identified two types: Big Boundaries, encompassing personal integrity and long-term impact decisions, and Little Boundaries, the seemingly minor choices that can erode our Big Boundaries over time. Personally, I've faced challenges such as overextending myself with unpaid responsibilities, ignoring concerning behavior in my relationships, and neglecting self-care for the sake of work.
Several factors make boundary-setting difficult, including societal conditioning, fear of rejection, gender-related issues, the fear of missing out (FOMO), denying oneself pleasure, and hesitancy in seeking help. Overcoming these hurdles necessitates a mindful approach:
Follow Your Feelings: Let your emotions guide you in recognizing when a boundary needs to be set. Acknowledge your physical and emotional reactions as signals indicating a breach.
Embrace Discomfort: Growth often emerges from discomfort. Embrace the unease associated with setting boundaries, understanding that it signifies personal growth.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Allow those who truly care about you to support your choices. Let them be your allies in upholding your boundaries.
Reframe Fear: Shift your perspective on boundary-setting from a selfish act to an act of self-love. Communicate your boundaries clearly, and if others don't understand, recognize that it's their issue, not yours.
Acknowledge Grief: Understand that setting boundaries might evoke feelings of loss. Honor these emotions, acknowledging that setting boundaries is an act of self-respect.
Connect with Your Body: Engage in physical activities to ground yourself and release pent-up energy, aiding in the process of setting and maintaining boundaries.
Celebrate Progress: Setting boundaries is an ongoing emotional journey. Celebrate your achievements, practice self-compassion, and forgive yourself for setbacks. Remember, it's a lifelong process.
As dental hygienists, these lessons in boundary-setting extend to our professional lives. We must recognize that patients' choices are theirs to make, and their oral health outcomes do not define our worth as healthcare providers. Similarly, in our interactions with employers, clear communication and understanding our responsibilities are key to maintaining healthy workplace boundaries.
I encourage fellow hygienists to embark on their own boundary-setting journeys. Having navigated the challenges, I understand the importance of defining your limits and standing firm. It's a transformative process that liberates you, ensuring your well-being and empowering your professional life. Good luck in your boundary-setting endeavors – you've got this!
